Thursday, March 22, 2012

My Brand of Luck

I've always subscribed to that tired saying, "If it weren't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any at all," in an effort to joke my way around a fact of my life that I've gotten pretty used to:  I have crappy luck. Historically, that is. I mean, I know I'm blessed, so before you start flooding me with a bunch of nauseating quotable quotes that you read on Pinterest or got from your Facebook status shuffle app, I already know that life could be a whole lot worse. I get it. As a matter of fact, most of the things I grumble about are pretty petty in the grand scheme of things. That being said, anyone who really knows me knows that I've had my share of lousy luck, usually with varying levels of resulting hilarity.

Perfect example:  for my birthday last year, my husband and I, who never go anywhere or do anything, did something uncharacteristic and got tickets to an NFL game in Kansas City. The game was actually on my birthday. Since I am in love with Matt Cassel (and proud of it!!!!), I was stoked. I didn't even care that a car accident on the highway made us late and prevented us from seeing kickoff. Well, it bothered me a little, but it wasn't a huge deal. And I shrugged it off when we got to our nosebleed seats and my husband of fifteen years revealed for the first time ever that he had a problem with heights. Worse things could happen, right? Plus, he got over it after a good quarter of sitting in his seat without moving. But it put a real damper on my birthday when the main attraction (for me, anyway) had his hand crushed by a really mean Denver Broncos defensive player (that's right, Dumervil... I still have my eye on you, buddy) and suffered a season-ending injury. On my birthday. Did I mention it was my birthday? That's sort of a lighthearted glimpse at my brand of luck.

Until now.

Now... things are looking up. I'm hesitant to put that in writing, because I'm sure to end the streak by acknowledging it, but I feel like I have to tell the world. Even the not-so-great things that have happened lately have resulted in some nifty things. Yes, nifty! Now, I'm eager to give you examples:
  1. I was recently sick with a diagnosed case of Influenza Type A (even my flu is Type-A). Sickest I've ever been. Ever. "How is this lucky?" you ask. Because, it got me out of the most dreaded of chores: car shopping. My husband bought a new car last weekend, and I didn't have to be involved at all, except for dropping by the dealership a few days later to sign some papers. Best car-shopping experience of my life!
  2. Same bout with the flu got me out of being involved in selling the car we were replacing. As a matter of fact, neither one of us had to do a darn thing when it came to selling that car. It basically sold itself. There wasn't even a sign in the thing, but some guy who was lost in our neighborhood drove past our house, saw it, and knocked on our door to give us an offer. My husband gladly took it. Again, I didn't have to do anything, which was good, since I was still in a cold-medicine-induced coma.
  3. Oh, but when you sell a car, you need the title. Since I am a slob and a horrible bookkeeper, this was potentially problematic. Until the title practically called my name from inside the box at the bottom of a teetering stack of boxes in the corner of my garage. I walked right to it, without having a clue that it was actually in that box. Lucky guess? I think not. It was the voice of God.
There are several more examples just from the past week, but some of them are too personal (even for me) to put on my blog. Plus, I don't want you to hate me because of my newfound good fortune. I mean, nobody likes someone who's sickeningly happy and won't shut up about it. That's just obnoxious.

Anyway, plenty of... interesting... things continue to happen in my life. I mean, it's still recognizable as my life, after all. My two-year-old styled his hair with toilet water just this morning, right before we had to walk out the door to get to school and work. So, don't fret. Your life is probably still way better than mine. I just wanted to point out that things in my life have been good lately. Really good. And I'm not taking it for granted.

You can download my books (peppered with events based very loosely on some of the strange things that happen to me on a regular basis) by going to Also, please visit my Facebook page and "like" me, even if you don't like me. I'm all about the numbers, and they're pathetically low right now (although I love and appreciate all of the people who currently "like" me).

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