Friday, July 20, 2012

Marketing is Hard

At the risk of whining... I'm tired! And this is coming from the woman who can write for eight to twelve hours straight, barely coming up for air, food, and bathroom breaks. In other words, I don't shy away from hard work. I know how to put my nose to the grindstone. But this marketing stuff is grueling! "Hey, everyone, look at me! Love me! Follow me so you can read my tweets about nothing! Tell everyone you know how awesome I am!"

Yeah. I don't feel awesome.

I feel like someone's been keeping me awake for a scientific study and then asking me to do Sukoku while playing Scrabble, filling out logic puzzles, and balancing my checkbook. I've always prided myself on being a good multi-tasker, doing lots of things at once but never any one thing really well (isn't that the definition of "multi-tasking"?), but in this case, I'm supposed to do it all at once while maintaining a quality of work that has heretofore not been expected of me. I mean, even in journalism, I was told "You get the idea" so many times regarding fact reporting that the pressure to perform well eventually lessened to tolerable levels, even for my Type-A personality.

Unfortunately, "You get the idea," doesn't fly in marketing. Because unless you cram yourself down people's throats 24/7, they don't get the idea. See, I'm not very good at "cramming." I had an unfortunate experience with one of my kids at Thanksgiving one year and have avoided force feeding at all costs since then. You don't want a bellyful of me? Okay. Fair enough. Moving on. I don't want anyone puking on my Facebook page. (Please hold while I have a traumatic flashback.)

Anyway, in the past two weeks, I've joined the ranks of tweeters and designed and published a website, all at the constant urging of someone who knows a lot more than I do about marketing. In the meantime, I've also blaarghed, edited a book for a fellow writer, published my latest book, and started editing and rewriting one of my other books. In addition, I've sort of held down a full-time brick-and-mortar job. Please, don't ask me where my kids are, however. I have no idea.

It's fine, though. I mean, sleep, food, and personal relationships with real-life people are overrated anyway, right? This is my dream we're talking about. It's not going to happen by magic. The stories (a.k.a., "myths," perpetuated by marketers) about success and fame landing in the laps of undiscovered authors, are sort of like the stories about people winning the lottery. And anyway, even those people had to play to win. So, I'm playing. I'm playing hard. And until now, only a few people had the misfortune of listening to me bellyache about it. I thought it was time to spread the wealth. After all, there's plenty to go around!

All griping aside, though, I understand that marketing is a necessarily evil. And I'm not doing it all by myself. I have some generous individuals behind the scenes doing some things for me that I just don't have the time or desire to do. I don't know what I'd do without their support. And by that, I mean putting up with me. What they're doing to get the word out about me is also pretty freaking fantastic and humbling. That way, I can focus a little more on what I do want to do: writing.

Because I LOVE writing. I mean, I'd totally marry it if I could. No offense to the guy I'm already married to. I think he'd understand. He'd probably welcome it, at this point, come to think of it. "Hey, Writing, she's all yours. Good luck with that. Uh... word to the wise: never let her Fancy Cakes supply run out. Ever."

Would it be great if I could drop the full-time day job to focus on writing? Heck yeah! I think that would make a world of difference. Can't do that, though, until I get my name out there and sell more books. Or find a fairy godpublisher to make all my dreams come true. Until then, I'm stuck in go-go-go mode, switching hats often and hoping I don't bathe my laptop or put a diaper on the dog we don't have. Because that would be awkward, at best.

Fire up the Keurig!

If you want to contribute to my dream, buy my entire catalog of published books on Amazon. Or you can start with one. Or two. Or you can send me a personal check. I also accept cash. If you're in more of a social mood than a spending/giving mood, pop onto my website. There, you'll find links to my Facebook page, my Twitter whatever-you-call-it, and my email address. It's really quite amazing.

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